that is beautiful @crunchygWe were not born on this planet to be carefree. We are here to be useful and move things forward. You have to find a system that will allow you to give your care, support, and love to others--either through a job, volunteer experience, or relationships--and very soon you will start getting positive feedback. Life will never be free of pain, but there are a lot of rewarding, deeply satisfying experiences to be had.