Jack Lovejoy
Well-Known Member
Hey guys, I know some of you people have been waiting for this review, so here it is, Shadow the Hedgehog, the hole Sega dug itself into.
On the box art you are probably going to say "WHY DOES SHADOW HAVE A F##KING GUN?!" Sega, have you lost your mind? Whoever asked for a Sonic the Hedgehog game, a franchise for children, to have guns?! You can't put mature content in a series that is meant to be a light-hearted cartoon! That is just like making the Rugrats babies snort coke and lap dance with each other. Anyway, I guess sega wanted to make the game more edgy since FPS games like Call of Duty and Halo were getting popular, but this game's atempt to be more mature fails miserably.
First I would like to say that all Sega really did to make it more "mature" is just added guns, explosions, and just barely swearing. Now let's talk about the plot, we can all see a cutscene in the beginning that Shadow is trying to figure out his past, but suddenly.... what the f##k? ALIENS?! ARE YOU S##TING ME SEGA?! We were seeing one moment that Shadow is trying to see into his past, but why suddenly cut to alien invasion?
Yeah, so what is next Sega? What else is going to pop out of the sky? Cyborgs? Pirates? Ninjas? Dinosaurs? Knights? IS THIS GOING TO BE A 6 YEAR OLD BOY'S FANTASY CLUSTERF##K ?! Oh wait, they did that in later games...... (sigh).
Trust me, I am only scratching the surface here of how awful the plot is. The biggest bomb in the plot I saw in the plot is that the GUN Commander was a childhood friend of Maria Robotnik. During a raid in the ark, one of the GUN troops shot down Maria and the young GUN commander swore revenge since he thought that Shadow was responsible for her death. But I have a question though, WHY IS HE WORKING FOR GUN WHEN HE SAW THAT THEY SHOT HER DOWN?!?! THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE!!!
(Runs outside and bangs head against the house)
Now let's get into the gameplay, I can't judge a book by it's cover, right? It can't be that bad, can it?
Fine, apparently Shadow has shoes made out of soap. Literally, his controls are so slippery, that it feels like every stage is an ice level. Shadow controls much worse than he did in Sonic Heroes and I found myself to be slipping off edges even more times than in heroes. Shadow has an expanded moveset that includes combat, traditional spin attacks, and last but not least, guns. For the combat, DONT EVER USE IT AT ALL! It has extremely poor power and poor range, so what the hell was the point of putting combat in there when I could just use the spin attacks to do it much easier? But woah, did Shadow just stretch his limbs when he does a combat attack? Is Shadow a werehog?
(dun, dun, DUN!)
now let's talk about the gun gameplay, it is actually not that bad though. The aiming at enemies always homes in on them and that is pretty nice. Now as for presentation, it is really bad.
I mean seriously, the graphics are outdated since this is released on 2005, the late GameCube Era! The character models are ripped straight from Sonic Heroes, which makes me think that Sonic Team didn't give a s##t. I mean, other nintendo gamecube games like Twilight Princess were beautiful and crisp in presentation, but Shadow the Hedgehog takes the cake as laziest work ever done. For the new human models like the president of the USA (I mean United Federations) have very stiff and wooden like movements. And for Maria....
HOLY S##T THAT IS JUST ONE UGLY GIRL, WHAT THE HELL HAVE THEY DONE TO YOUR FACE?!?
(Everyone screams in horror)
For all of you people who think I am being a bit mean here, I mean seriously, look at it! It is almost as if Gollum had a deformed child with Katniss from Hunger Games!
Another part about the presentation is that the levels look completely bland and uninspired since there is no bright colors other than purple or red. Sega, vibrant colors are what makes a game interesting and made Sonic for who he is in games. Also, the music is forgettable as it is mostly dark rock since the game tries to be more mature.
Oh, and don't forget, there are endings in this game too! Not that endings are a bad thing though, but what if you Shadow the Hedgehog had 10 F##KING ENDINGS? The game features many different endings that make Shadow have the bad ending, good ending, neutral ending, and all other unnecessary s##t. I mean, one ending, you had to figure out if you were an android all this time and you have to play 2 times to get different endings!
The missions are boring as they require you to kill a ridiculous amount of foes and they determine the good or the dark ending, so play the neutral ending, since all they do is just reach to the goal ring. But guess what, because NONE OF THE ENDINGS EVER F##KING MATTER. In the final ending, it had nothing to do with what your choices were and that just pisses me off the hardest in this game other than the bad controls and the horrible plot. The real need for different endings makes you feel about the choices you made, but this game does not follow that! It is just like Sans in Undertale just popping up in front of you saying "F##k you kid, nothing you ever did mattered so thank you for wasting 2 playthroughs for this game Hyuk Hyuk!"
I give this game 3.5/10. You want to play a game where sonic characters shoot guns and swear? You want to see Shadow falling towards the ground slowly all the time? Do you want the slippery soap controls to make you want to inch every step? Do you want a plot with many different endings and replay value that sucks since they don't f##king matter? Do you want to play a game with bad voice acting and outdated graphics? Then this game is for you. Have fun (not)
Also, you can hear Shadow say this every ending:
[Hero Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Dark Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Neutral Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Android Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Jack]: Yeah, this is what you are (ejects Shadow the Hedgehog out of the gamecube and throws it into a toilet and flushes it. Then flips the finger) You are just a piece of s##t.
I am guessing this is what happened at Sonic Team when Sega made this game.
On the box art you are probably going to say "WHY DOES SHADOW HAVE A F##KING GUN?!" Sega, have you lost your mind? Whoever asked for a Sonic the Hedgehog game, a franchise for children, to have guns?! You can't put mature content in a series that is meant to be a light-hearted cartoon! That is just like making the Rugrats babies snort coke and lap dance with each other. Anyway, I guess sega wanted to make the game more edgy since FPS games like Call of Duty and Halo were getting popular, but this game's atempt to be more mature fails miserably.
First I would like to say that all Sega really did to make it more "mature" is just added guns, explosions, and just barely swearing. Now let's talk about the plot, we can all see a cutscene in the beginning that Shadow is trying to figure out his past, but suddenly.... what the f##k? ALIENS?! ARE YOU S##TING ME SEGA?! We were seeing one moment that Shadow is trying to see into his past, but why suddenly cut to alien invasion?
Yeah, so what is next Sega? What else is going to pop out of the sky? Cyborgs? Pirates? Ninjas? Dinosaurs? Knights? IS THIS GOING TO BE A 6 YEAR OLD BOY'S FANTASY CLUSTERF##K ?! Oh wait, they did that in later games...... (sigh).
Trust me, I am only scratching the surface here of how awful the plot is. The biggest bomb in the plot I saw in the plot is that the GUN Commander was a childhood friend of Maria Robotnik. During a raid in the ark, one of the GUN troops shot down Maria and the young GUN commander swore revenge since he thought that Shadow was responsible for her death. But I have a question though, WHY IS HE WORKING FOR GUN WHEN HE SAW THAT THEY SHOT HER DOWN?!?! THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE!!!
(Runs outside and bangs head against the house)
Now let's get into the gameplay, I can't judge a book by it's cover, right? It can't be that bad, can it?
Fine, apparently Shadow has shoes made out of soap. Literally, his controls are so slippery, that it feels like every stage is an ice level. Shadow controls much worse than he did in Sonic Heroes and I found myself to be slipping off edges even more times than in heroes. Shadow has an expanded moveset that includes combat, traditional spin attacks, and last but not least, guns. For the combat, DONT EVER USE IT AT ALL! It has extremely poor power and poor range, so what the hell was the point of putting combat in there when I could just use the spin attacks to do it much easier? But woah, did Shadow just stretch his limbs when he does a combat attack? Is Shadow a werehog?
(dun, dun, DUN!)
now let's talk about the gun gameplay, it is actually not that bad though. The aiming at enemies always homes in on them and that is pretty nice. Now as for presentation, it is really bad.
I mean seriously, the graphics are outdated since this is released on 2005, the late GameCube Era! The character models are ripped straight from Sonic Heroes, which makes me think that Sonic Team didn't give a s##t. I mean, other nintendo gamecube games like Twilight Princess were beautiful and crisp in presentation, but Shadow the Hedgehog takes the cake as laziest work ever done. For the new human models like the president of the USA (I mean United Federations) have very stiff and wooden like movements. And for Maria....
HOLY S##T THAT IS JUST ONE UGLY GIRL, WHAT THE HELL HAVE THEY DONE TO YOUR FACE?!?
(Everyone screams in horror)
For all of you people who think I am being a bit mean here, I mean seriously, look at it! It is almost as if Gollum had a deformed child with Katniss from Hunger Games!
Another part about the presentation is that the levels look completely bland and uninspired since there is no bright colors other than purple or red. Sega, vibrant colors are what makes a game interesting and made Sonic for who he is in games. Also, the music is forgettable as it is mostly dark rock since the game tries to be more mature.
Oh, and don't forget, there are endings in this game too! Not that endings are a bad thing though, but what if you Shadow the Hedgehog had 10 F##KING ENDINGS? The game features many different endings that make Shadow have the bad ending, good ending, neutral ending, and all other unnecessary s##t. I mean, one ending, you had to figure out if you were an android all this time and you have to play 2 times to get different endings!
The missions are boring as they require you to kill a ridiculous amount of foes and they determine the good or the dark ending, so play the neutral ending, since all they do is just reach to the goal ring. But guess what, because NONE OF THE ENDINGS EVER F##KING MATTER. In the final ending, it had nothing to do with what your choices were and that just pisses me off the hardest in this game other than the bad controls and the horrible plot. The real need for different endings makes you feel about the choices you made, but this game does not follow that! It is just like Sans in Undertale just popping up in front of you saying "F##k you kid, nothing you ever did mattered so thank you for wasting 2 playthroughs for this game Hyuk Hyuk!"
I give this game 3.5/10. You want to play a game where sonic characters shoot guns and swear? You want to see Shadow falling towards the ground slowly all the time? Do you want the slippery soap controls to make you want to inch every step? Do you want a plot with many different endings and replay value that sucks since they don't f##king matter? Do you want to play a game with bad voice acting and outdated graphics? Then this game is for you. Have fun (not)
Also, you can hear Shadow say this every ending:
[Hero Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Dark Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Neutral Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Android Ending Shadow]: This is who I am!
[Jack]: Yeah, this is what you are (ejects Shadow the Hedgehog out of the gamecube and throws it into a toilet and flushes it. Then flips the finger) You are just a piece of s##t.
I am guessing this is what happened at Sonic Team when Sega made this game.
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