Am I hostile?

grahamf

grahamf

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I figure I should try to get an independent opinion. I find that lately I get irritated when I find someone making incorrect assumptions which I consider to be common knowledge, and them I am compelled to explain exactly why those assumptions are wrong. My intention is to be detailed enough t0 clearly explain it, but I'm starting to suspect that the details I use rely on knowing additional information to understand - information that the intended reader may not know either so my explanations simply go over their head or something. I usually feel compelled to try to get the last word in that usually covers what I consider to be all parts of the conversation worth discussing, and it seems like doing that has led me to effectively killing off threads (more frequently on another forum I frequent instead of here though).

Does that seem to be the case?
 
negative, i enjoy your posts. Dont overthink it.

Sometimes i wonder if I'm trying to be too goofy, but can't help it. I love it here and its a relaxing escape. it's all good
 
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Honestly, I have beef with several members and I'm about ready to leave because of it.

The first beef and main problem I have is that members seem to want to pat me on the back and be my friend, then turn around and do mean things to me, without explaining why. It has been going on at both Nintendo forums I have been to. Yes this one as well. Now you, grahamf, haven't done that but...

I think you and Segata just need to put your personal opinions aside sometimes and let the newbies like joshposh talk. This wouldn't be an issue if it happened only once, but it has happened on two or three separate occasions now and with different people. You even told off a regular who was seemingly minding his own business on here once.

Now I'm not saying I hate you Graham, these forums are better with you than without you, but I feel these forums haven't been as good lately. Part of it is also that I feel Jack Lovejoy has really been trying to push the envelope on weird threads lately and seems to have lost touch with himself. Even to the point of having to have an admin edit his posts.

I'm sure I have (many) problems too, and I'm sorry for calling everyone on this forum out. But I think this post should be left up to tell people what I think is wrong with the forum and how to improve it.
 
I will always be who I am. Something to say and always honest. Works for some people and not for others. Years ago I learned some accept that and some don't but I can only be who I am.If I don't then I am dishonest with myself and lose myself back into the extremely paranoid hypersensitive mess that I was. I still have some of those traits but to a much greater lesser degree. I don't over think it anymore. You should not either. It honestly drives me crazy when people are afraid to say any opinion and just give cardboard posts. If people do not be who they are with different personalities and view points then a Forum is pointless.
 
What's the point of a forum if you cannot give your opinion? I don't see anyone not letting JoshPosh talk, the only person who'd be able to do that is a mod or admin.

He created a bunch of similar topics recently about Pokemon GO and I think Grahamf is simply rethinking about what he may have posted in response. I don't think he has been to hostile, sometimes it's better to be straightforward and blunt then dance around when giving your thoughts. Also, if you feel someone is very wrong in their post or topic, it's good to be clear and passionate in response.

Forums are all about different points of view, conversations, opinions, etc. Some of those may get into arguments but as long as it stays civil I would not think it's an issue. There is room for everyone here, one members opinion is not more important than anothers.. to think that is outright wrong.

Sometimes people just need to take things with a grain of salt rather then so personally. Segata was called out by the OP in a topic for his "one liner" ... which I found to be just a bit of sarcasm but then responded in depth with a post.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this forum. Conversations come and go.. that's kinda the whole idea.
 
Yeah maybe I am making too much of things. I just know that about 2 months ago, I was a very cookie cutter person. I loved Nintendo but even when I didn't like something, I kept my mouth shut. I am different now. Too much so in fact. I'm not afraid to speak out, for example, on how much I dislike Pokemon Go, and will accept the consequences of my actions for doing so. I hardly even play Nintendo anymore.

I won't lie, Segata is a very good member, but he is a bit hard to take sometimes. Especially for newbies. I guess there is no changing that, and I do actually accept him the way he is, but it took me like 8-12 months to learn how to take him. No offense. I'm just saying that I can also see things from joshposh's perspective and how people are kind of jumping on him.
 
Any forum is all about opinions, and you'll never get every member who will agree with what your saying, and some can be more vocal about that than others. The only thing that would get me to leave a forum, is if I am asked to (obviously) or if I feel that there's no point in being on there anymore as I don't really care enough about the topic of the forum enough anymore to make a contribution.

I won't be bullied by anybody into leaving, and I think that nobody else should be either.
 
Shane said:
Yeah maybe I am making too much of things. I just know that about 2 months ago, I was a very cookie cutter person. I loved Nintendo but even when I didn't like something, I kept my mouth shut. I am different now. Too much so in fact. I'm not afraid to speak out, for example, on how much I dislike Pokemon Go, and will accept the consequences of my actions for doing so. I hardly even play Nintendo anymore.

I won't lie, Segata is a very good member, but he is a bit hard to take sometimes. Especially for newbies. I guess there is no changing that, and I do actually accept him the way he is, but it took me like 8-12 months to learn how to take him. No offense. I'm just saying that I can also see things from joshposh's perspective and how people are kind of jumping on him.
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LOL I don't always know how to take myself.
 
I may not be familiar with you on the forums (seeing that I'm a newbie,) but the description you've given doesn't sound very hostile. When I think of hostility, I think of someone being extremely aggressive. This doesn't sound like aggression at all. This just sounds like you have a really bad habit of needing to be right. The fact that you feel the need to correct people and become angry if you don't isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it isn't a good thing either. I could see people becoming irritated with someone that's constantly correcting their mistakes.

The reason some people might become angry with you over this is because they come here to enjoy themselves and not be criticized. I really don't find you to be hostile, though.
 
We all fall into the trap of thinking that our opinions are right, that's just human nature to some extent I think and when we say something and a person disagrees then our first reaction is to go on the defensive. On any forum I think e have to accept that we aren't all going to agree, in fact that's what make a forum a more interesting place and one of the reasons we come here in the first place, to read peoples different opinions.

Maybe we should all stop being so precious and accept that we aren't going to be best friends with everyone.
 
I haven't really seen anything from you that would qualify as hostile. I haven't seen all of your forum posts of course, but I haven't really seen you be uncivil.
 
While I understand that on a forum, just like it is in an email or a text message, it's a lot harder to judge a person's tone, and often things can be written that the reader won't know how to take. The poster might say something in one context and it can be taken the wrong way, that's easily done but there have been times on here when a poster as blatantly said something to cause offence or to get a reaction in order to start an argument and that is out of order in my opinion.

Hiding behind saying I'm just too honest and say what I mean, doesn't work for me, and while there's no harm in being honest and straight to the point, you should also take into account other people's feelings and just because you are sat behind a keyboard and not speaking to them face to face, doesn't give you the the right to say things that will offend.
 
Thanks for your advice. I do have some difficulty keeping track of different conversations (even what I've said), and can pretty much forget everything I didn't somehow note. So I'm not sure I'd notice enough to take corrective action without being pointed out to me.


And one final question: Is some of my word choices difficult to understand? I try to go towards what I consider to be diplomatic language so to avoid unintentionally offending people, but sometimes I get a sinking feeling that some of the words I use are a bit superfluous and just go over people's heads without being understood. Though to be fair sometimes I do it on purpose in an attempt at humor.
 
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I'm not going to turn this post into a witch hunt @grahamf as while I've found some of your posts straight to the point and maybe a bit abrupt, I haven't taken any offence by what you have wrote, but maybe that's because I am thick skinned so to speak and not easily upset.

I've posted a few times on this thread already and so I think my views are quite clear already without going over things, so as a final point I think in regards to you saying that sometimes you say things on purpose at an attempt at humour, you have to remember that we don't all have the same sense of humour. Being from the UK myself, I have a dry, sarcastic type of humour and so often what I say might not be to everyone's liking so I tend to tone it down a bit on forums because I know for a fact that sometimes I'll say something that I think is witty but I'll think twice before posting it as I realise that others might take offence.

People aren't saying don't be yourself, as far as I'm concerned your an important member of the forum, but just maybe think before you post, and try and remember that even if you don't agree with another member on here, their opinion is just as important as yours is, even if you don't agree with what they're saying.
 
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