Jack Lovejoy
Well-Known Member
Hey guys, it's Jack here and here is the review I promised called the Link Faces of Evil Review.
This game was on the cdi and the most iconic thing about this abomination was the horrible animation and voice acting. Just look at this, it is pure nightmare fuel:
[Jack]: (On top of a stool right in front of a noose, getting ready to wrap it around his neck) I don't want to live on this planet anymore! Hell looks much better to live right now!
This game gave birth to numerous memes like "Mah boy" and "It burns!" but now lets get the terrifying cutscenes out of our heads and let's dive in.
For the gameplay, the controls are atrocious. The Cdi has very stiff controls and it often results Link walking like a wooden board. And I have to ask, did the guys developing this game even play any Zelda games? Well, first, the red rupees are worth one rupee, THAT IS WHERE THE GREEN RUPEE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!
Even so, the magic sword is to be obtained from a fisherman by just saying you like his crab. WHY THE HELL IS AN IMPORTANT WEAPON IN A PLACE WHERE YOU WOULD LEAST EXPECT IT?! I MEAN WHY DOES THE FISHERMAN EVEN HAVE A MAGIC SWORD IN THE FIRST PLACE?! IS THERE ANY GODDAMN CONSISTENCY IN THIS F##KING GAME?!
Another problem with the game is that this 90% of the gameplay is grinding monsters and obtaining rupees. So this isn't a dungeon game, it is just Maplestory on a f##king cdi game. You need rupees in order to gain items from the shop because they mostly run out a lot since you need them all the time. Entering doors is a pain since you may sometimes show up the menu since the input for entering the door is the same as the input for opening up the menu.
Also, the dark areas can just go s##t themselves, you need a lot of lamp oil because it is nearly impossible to navigate through dark areas since everything is pitch black and you can't tell where you are going. For the back grounds, it is so abysmal and I cannot tell where I am going and a lot of inconsistencies happen, like a part where it traps you and you cannot get out of that area without killing yourself.
[Koridai Wizard]: You finally have the vision to see my house. Here is a lamp to get to Ganon's castle, now go, with many blessings!
[Jack]: What?...... WHAT THE F##K?! SO ALL THIS TIME I HAD TO "SEE HIS HOUSE"!?! WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE JUST GIVEN ME THE WAY TO DEFEAT GANON IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
(Goes outside and bangs head against the house)
Anyway, let's get to the climactic fight with Ganon. And guess how to defeat him..... Go on, take a guess.
Just one hit with a book. Yeah, one hit. JUST WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE FINAL BOSS OF A GAME JUST DIE IN ONE HIT, WON'T THAT JUST THROW AWAY THE CHALLENGE OF THIS GAME?!
Anyway, I have news that I am not going to grade a game by numbers, I have made the gamescale, a measurement using things like:
Abysmal - Awful - Bad - Meh - Decent - Okay - Good - Great- God's Gift
For Link Faces of Evil, it is in the abysmal category. Sucky controls, immense and boring grinding, and those terrifying cutscenes make this a trainwreck of the most beautiful kind.
This game was on the cdi and the most iconic thing about this abomination was the horrible animation and voice acting. Just look at this, it is pure nightmare fuel:
[Jack]: (On top of a stool right in front of a noose, getting ready to wrap it around his neck) I don't want to live on this planet anymore! Hell looks much better to live right now!
This game gave birth to numerous memes like "Mah boy" and "It burns!" but now lets get the terrifying cutscenes out of our heads and let's dive in.
For the gameplay, the controls are atrocious. The Cdi has very stiff controls and it often results Link walking like a wooden board. And I have to ask, did the guys developing this game even play any Zelda games? Well, first, the red rupees are worth one rupee, THAT IS WHERE THE GREEN RUPEE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!
Even so, the magic sword is to be obtained from a fisherman by just saying you like his crab. WHY THE HELL IS AN IMPORTANT WEAPON IN A PLACE WHERE YOU WOULD LEAST EXPECT IT?! I MEAN WHY DOES THE FISHERMAN EVEN HAVE A MAGIC SWORD IN THE FIRST PLACE?! IS THERE ANY GODDAMN CONSISTENCY IN THIS F##KING GAME?!
Another problem with the game is that this 90% of the gameplay is grinding monsters and obtaining rupees. So this isn't a dungeon game, it is just Maplestory on a f##king cdi game. You need rupees in order to gain items from the shop because they mostly run out a lot since you need them all the time. Entering doors is a pain since you may sometimes show up the menu since the input for entering the door is the same as the input for opening up the menu.
Also, the dark areas can just go s##t themselves, you need a lot of lamp oil because it is nearly impossible to navigate through dark areas since everything is pitch black and you can't tell where you are going. For the back grounds, it is so abysmal and I cannot tell where I am going and a lot of inconsistencies happen, like a part where it traps you and you cannot get out of that area without killing yourself.
[Koridai Wizard]: You finally have the vision to see my house. Here is a lamp to get to Ganon's castle, now go, with many blessings!
[Jack]: What?...... WHAT THE F##K?! SO ALL THIS TIME I HAD TO "SEE HIS HOUSE"!?! WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE JUST GIVEN ME THE WAY TO DEFEAT GANON IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
(Goes outside and bangs head against the house)
Anyway, let's get to the climactic fight with Ganon. And guess how to defeat him..... Go on, take a guess.
Just one hit with a book. Yeah, one hit. JUST WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE FINAL BOSS OF A GAME JUST DIE IN ONE HIT, WON'T THAT JUST THROW AWAY THE CHALLENGE OF THIS GAME?!
Anyway, I have news that I am not going to grade a game by numbers, I have made the gamescale, a measurement using things like:
Abysmal - Awful - Bad - Meh - Decent - Okay - Good - Great- God's Gift
For Link Faces of Evil, it is in the abysmal category. Sucky controls, immense and boring grinding, and those terrifying cutscenes make this a trainwreck of the most beautiful kind.
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