Sonic Generations (PC) Review

Jack Lovejoy

Well-Known Member
Jan 23, 2016
California (Originally from Korea)
Hey guys, let's look at a game that is possibly worse than sonic boom. This is Sonic f##king Generations.

The first thing you know is that this game is a celebration of the classic genesis days. Come on Sega, since when did Sonic turn down on the adventure 3d formula. The first thing you know is that the graphics are cringeworthy and the framerate keeps dropping like s##t.

[Jack]: (Facepalms) What is this? This looks like PS1 graphics!

The controls are just so unresponsive and it wont get me boost correctly. Classic Sonic is just so slow considering how he relies on a really slow spindash.

Modern Sonic's isn't any better, it is just a boring boost to win design. Thats.... IT. Nothing special, no type of real obstacle, just boost to win. The story is just as awful as 06 and the horrible other characters return in this mess of a game.

I give Sonic Generations 2.1/10. Who even thinks this game is good?

Yes, this is an april fools joke. Of course this game is great. This is a satirical depiction of a Youtuber's review on a game called Gligar13.

Gligar13 is a notorious gamer that makes reviews on games that he consider bad. And by those games, he means all nintendo games. He calls them bad just because of graphics and other nonsensical thoughts thrown into pile of s##t that is his mouth. His review on Sonic Generations can be seen here, bask into his ignorance:

And Gligar13, just in case my giant middle finger to you floated over your f##king codfish head, you just got roasted. Burn in hell you fat piece of s##t.

Well anyway, here is the true review for Sonic Generations.

Like I said, it is a great game, this is one of the most polished sonic games recently made. The game offers a lot with the best control and graphics and the levels that have been thrown into the trash bin have been revamped and upgraded.

[Jack]: Wait a minute (Takes off glasses) Is that Crisis City?
(Crisis City plays)
[Jack]: (Covers his face in shock) Oh no... But I thought Sonic 06 never happened..

For classic sonic, you probably think that he is slower than modern sonic. But as you spinda- WHOAH, that spindash is so OP! Classic Sonic's spindash is extremely powerful and it lets you blaze through levels and it makes it feel like he is just as fast as Modern Sonic.

This game is also noteworthy for its extremely fun replayability. The level design that lets you go through stages has many different pathways and the game excels at that.

Well anyway, I have a few nitpicks about the game though.

Like what I said, the framerate drops occasionally, but that is forgivable. The thing I find that has been on my mind is how the rolling physics suck. When Classic Sonic is rolling down a slope, he instead slows down, which is the same problem in Sonic 4.

I found Modern Sonic's 2d gameplay to be completely unnecessary. Doesn't Classic Sonic already show the 2d nostalgia we wanted? So why put the 2d platforming sections in the game?

As for the story, it is kind of ick as it could have been stretched out more as the game was too short. Also, the one thing that actually sucks about the game is the Final Boss, the Time Eater.

This boss battle is bad as you just need to charge into the core of the boss, but the attacking is broken in this section of the boss. The other thing that sucks is how Sonic's friend keep spouting obvious s##t from their mouths and they won't shut up.

Overall, I give the game 9.5/10. It is a great game, happy birthday Sonic! I hope your 25th anniversary game will be great!
Speaking of PC, if you have a modern Core i processor, even if you don't have a dedicated video card, you can run this PC game. I've tried it. So you really have no excuse not to play it.
I've already been April fooled twice. The first time was a dumb Yahoo article saying Trader Joe's was shutting down. For those who don't know, Trader Joe's is a food store. The second time was I signed up for a credit card to get $80 in rewards points they said was instant and they never gave it to me.

So I'm immune to jokes.

Actually it surprised me a little when I was seeing how low you rated it. But 50% of the time, your opinions on Sonic games differ pretty greatly from mine, so I was just going to go with the flow.
I have it on Xbox 360 and it's one of my favorite games of the seventh generation. That will probably be the last time that's ever a thing.

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